Being in a relationship can be hard! Ask any number of married couples who've been together more than a few years their opinions about relationships, and many will straight up tell you it's no walk in the park! Recently I stumbled upon this article about Angelina Jolie, and her divorce from Brad Pitt. Normally, I don't read any type of celebrity gossip and could care less what the celebrities are doing with their fame and fortune. However, this article stood out to me for a few reasons. Divorce, like a relationship is also difficult. I see so many as a counselor who have unfortunately reached that impasse with their significant other. However, despite the article's suggestion that Angelina is not happy about being single, she is doing one of the most important things she can while in divorce proceedings: taking care of herself!
Even if you haven't been divorced or might be going through one now, if you've ever been in a long term committed relationship that's ended, the feelings are very similar. You are likely feeling heartbroken, scared at the idea of dating again, feeling like you need to fill an emotional void, or maybe like you're free! As a counselor, THE BIGGEST mistake I see people doing when ending a marriage or relationship is not taking care of their emotional needs. The heart and mind need time to heal for grieving to set in when a relationship ends. Yes, grieving happens not only when someone passes away, but when we've experienced an extreme emotional loss of any kind. Although it may be challenging for some to relearn what it is about themselves that once made them tick or excited about life, during a relationship end can be the perfect time to seize opportunities to heal and grow as an individual.
"Cooking is one of those things you do when you are settled in your life and you can take the time. But somehow I am just very impatient and I am a little bit erratic...but I am getting into it now. I feel like, if I cook, the kids can all hang out. Although they often take over and tell me that they can do it better." -Angelina Jolie
So, although you might want to stay in bed with the lights dimmed all day every day, get yourself back out there and engage in activities that make you happy. As Angelina was quoted, cooking became her outlet and a place for her to rediscover herself and her children. So find your 'cooking class' and a way to reconnect with family, friends, and most importantly who you are! If you are feeling at a loss of how to do so, don't hesitate to schedule an appointment with your local counselor. I see many couples, same sex and opposite sex, and want to help you and your significant other before it's too late. Contact me below to schedule a free consultation to get started.
Devin Pinkston is a local mental health counselor and Gender Therapist in Grand Junction Colorado. Call to schedule a free consultation today at 970-644-2392